Well, Chinese New Year is here again, and with the dawning of the Year of the Ox comes numerous demonstrations of amazing kung fu power. If you go to your local Chinatown you are bound to see demonstrations of the Lion Dance and various forms (kata). What you will also witness many times are demonstrations of 'iron shirt' or 'golden bell cover', such as having a watermelon cut on the chest with a sword. Many people, however, are taken in by such marketing tricks. Many of these stunts are just 'magic tricks'. Yes, they require skill and practice but they are performed under rigidly controlled conditions. In a real edged-weapon fight these 'performers' would be in as much danger as anyone else.
So Buyer Beware...
Why do I care?
Well I know some unfortunate folks who have been taken in by scammers trying to pass this stuff off as real. These scammers have not only put their students safety at risk by giving them a false sense of security, but have charged them thousands of dollars in the process. God help the students if they actually try to use what they have learned in a real violent confrontation.
Have a look at this clip for some examples of common martial arts tricks. Leung Ting featured in the clip, copped a lot of flack particularly from the new age qigong/ kung fu community when he released his books, Skills of the Vagabonds & Behind the incredibles, which exposed these tricks.
And these tricks are not just performed by small time, no name operators. In the early 2000's I went to see the Shaolin Monks when they toured. What I observed confirmed what I had heard from martial arts friends in the know, that these so called Shaolin Monks were nothing more than professional athletes, like Beijing Opera performers, who are funded by the government to attract tourists. The show was a mix of choreographed fights, acrobatics and magic tricks. The real Shaolin died along with many of the monks during China's various social upheavals.
Now there are still some folks out there who do the real thing, such as Grandmaster Gao Yen Tao of Yangshuo, China; whose father was a shaolin monk in the good old days. He also preserves elements of old school Daoist martial arts as his Grand Daddy was a Wudang monk. To survive Mao's cultural revolution, he joined the Beijing Opera, which allowed him to continue practicing his skills in the guise of 'performance'. See him in action in this clip. While talking about applications within his gentle Taichi type form, Grandmaster Gao seized me in lightning like fashion by the throat and testicles and held me against a pillar in his school. It is VERY humbling to be owned by an 80 year old. Oh yeah, he also does sets of ten butterfly kicks each morning for breakfast. His sons are following in his footsteps.
I'd like to share a story with you. Let's call it a cautionary tale. Many years ago in a galaxy far, far away, I met a young guy who wanted to come and learn qigong and martial arts from me. This guy however, didn't want to put in the hard yards. He was sure he could find someone who could give him magic powers and turn him into an invincible fighting machine. I tried to tell him that it didn't work that way, but he refused to believe me and left.
A couple of years go past and out of the blue I get a phone call from him. He told me he'd been to Indonesia where he had paid $2000 or so to be 'implanted with a Genii'. He told me that now he was impervious to bladed weapons and had developed superpowers as a result of this implantation. He told me he wanted to demonstrate what he had learned to me as I was sure to be impressed. Magnanimously, he added that he could implant me with a Genii, so I too could become superhuman.
I was extremely dubious but decided to see what he had actually learned, so I gave him permission to come around and see me. When he arrived he was carrying a kitchen knife, a light bulb and some gift wrapping paper. We spent a little while talking about his experiences in Indonesia and the ritual he went through to get his Genii. He then handed me the knife and had me test the keenness of the blade, which was brand new and razor sharp. He said if I had a sharper knife he would be happy to use it instead for his demonstration. I tested a knife I had that had been recently sharpened by a butcher friend of mine, however the new knife was still sharper so we decided to go with it.
The guy then asked me how hard I thought I could strike myself with the knife. Now I knew the physics behind this trick from one of Ting's books (mentioned above). So I proceeded to strike myself quite forcefully with the knife a number of times on the forearm. The guy's eyes widened noticeably and he commented that I must have been training my iron shirt very hard (which I hadn't, I'd actually only been doing some light tai chi).
He then told me he could do this not only on soft fleshy area but also on bony area. He started to strike his radial area with the knife, however, instead of hitting down with the blade in perpendicular fashion, he hit and dragged the knife across his wrist. It was no surprise when the blood started dripping on the floor as he repeatedly cut himself. He stopped and made a comment that something must be wrong with his Genii, maybe he hadn't done the proper invocation before he started.
At this point, I offered him a band aid, which went down like a lead balloon. He refused and stated that he would use his ankle instead, so he pulled up his jeans and proceeded to chop chunks from it. Ouch!!!! When this failed to work he pulled up his sock and lowered his jean leg to try to control the bleeding and offered instead to show me something else.
With some trepidation, and much morbid curiosity, I accepted. This was like Jim Rose's Sideshow in my laundry (you didn't think I was going to let him bleed on the carpet did you?)
He then picked up the light bulb and wrapped it in the wrapping paper and stomped on it once. He then took an inch long sliver of glass, placed it in his mouth and began to chew. Now is probably a good time to mention that he was missing his two top front teeth (no rock star good looks here folks). He kept chewing for a few more minutes before telling me (between mouthfuls) that he had also learned some 'super secret' Qigong methods from the same teacher who had given him the Genii.
So we went down to the local park and he showed me what can only be described as a second rate version of some very basic Shaolin Qigong. Sort of like Tai Chi minus any flow or grace.
This continued for about 15 minutes, during the entire performance he was still chewing. The sound was something like a cross between biting into a crisp apple and someone eating sand.
By the end of this 'performance' I really felt sorry for the guy. I again offered to let him train with me, but again his Ego wouldn't allow him to see that he'd been duped. He headed off into the sunset and that was the last time I saw him.
The moral of the story is don't believe everything you are told. If someone says they are invincible, demand proof, ask them why they aren't a world champion fighter. If they claim to be psychic ask them why they haven't won the lotto. Or ask them what your mother's maiden name is. You'll know soon enough if they are the real deal.
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